I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
