Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
