That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize