oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
