he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.