yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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