So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
