I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So vagazzling was a success