Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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