Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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