I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
