My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
