He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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