Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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