Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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