Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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