Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
