I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Everclear isn't food dammit
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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