i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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