The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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