If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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