$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
