what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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