hell yes lets make some ravioli
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
