im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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