I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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