5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
