i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
