Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
