i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
