so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
