Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
