what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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