I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
