dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
