his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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