walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
