I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
is that a dick in a sweater?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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