my phone needs a breathalizer
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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