I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have tasted many bathrooms
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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