It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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