is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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