Soap is not a condiment
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
