I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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