strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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