So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
