I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
