Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
