rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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