If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
