So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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