I want to walk on stilts...naked
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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