I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why do cheetos always look like penises
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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