Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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