I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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