You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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