This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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