trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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