If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
