they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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