It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
