i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
