Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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