i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
