i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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