WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize