so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
birth control should be required to get into college
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
